Tired, Marginally Happy. Make that Mostly Happy.

[itsallovernow]

Thursday was utterly exhausting. Our giant media conglomerate laid off people (and have, for the record, yet to announce this company wide). Among them was one of my employees, and the hardest thing I have had to do yet in this job was to walk downstairs with her after the announcement and not cry myself. Fucking economy and fucking corporate America. I am lucky and grateful to still have a job, but I am angry and shell-shocked and exhausted at the the thought of the extra work this will cause for everyone, most of who are busting their asses anyway to make the best magazines they can on skeleton staffs. If anyone local has freelance opportunities, please let me know so I can pass them on.

I got on a plane Friday morning and didn't deal with technology for four days. Instead, I had an idyllic summer weekend with Sh. and her husband and the godchild of boundary pushing adorableness. (Almost four is a great age, but it's also an age where EVERYTHING is a boundary to be pushed - love, permission, omniscience, food, behavior, BITING, words). We biked (ow, ow, my ass), swam, attended Circus Juventis and oohed and awed at the astonishing kids doing real, hardcore acrobatics. We watched the Olypmics and cheered and cheered and cried and cheered. We drank martinis and good wine, and sun tea, and lazed and shopped and ate, and it was wonderful and heartbreaking.

And I have a confession. I love the Olypmics. And I absolutely understand both the sense of nationalism and competition and support it. But just because I root for my country, for the absolute dedication of the athletes who represent the place I'm from, doesn't mean I can't root for the same fierce, awesome dedication of athletes from other countries. Did I scream with joy at the results of the Men's 4x100 free relay? Hell yes. Not just because it's my team, but because the other team had talked a little smack, and the American team (including Michael Phelps who just cannot sit or stand still and is almost always in danger of losing his swim suit) just rocked that race. As did their competitors. I mean athleticism and skill of the absolute highest order and what a beautiful, beautiful thing to see. Because we watched the women's road race, and it didn't matter that there wasn't a US athlete to root for, we were excited by the bad-assery of these women, these athletes doing this intense race that went UP HILL to finish.

I love watching these people who can do things I cannot. I love watching all these countries come together, these international games, no matter how skeeved I am about China's human rights violations because the world now has it's eyes on China and no matter what, change follows that kind of gaze. Because there are people out there who are fulfilling dreams and decades of work and attention and sometimes it's fucked up and sometimes it's utterly beautiful and on a personal level, I get to watch something that I once wanted to do. Something that both gave me my first big dream (Olympic swimming) and my first taste that I didn't have the ability, but I could always, always love it and love those who did.

I think I'm too tired to go to ballet tonight. I may get a bottle of wine and a salad and gorge myself on the games.

Comments

[sophia-helix.livejournal.com]

I keep seeing people say they're unhappy with the US-focused media coverage on the Olympics, and I just don't get it -- of course I want my country's athletes to win! Or at least I do by default; if I know more about the individual athletes, I'll root for whoever I like best, though I'm predisposed to like US athletes. But I don't see what's wrong with either having a nationalist approach to cheering for athletes or with the US media being focused on US athletes.

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

I can only speak for myself, but I find that the coverage I watch out of Canada reminds me of what the coverage in America used to be. Or maybe I used to watch both and now just the Canadians. Maybe I'm bitter and univested in my own country winning.

I just absolutely *love* watching all of these people who've trained for years through every kind of challenge, doing something they love in front of people who are thrilled to watch them.

I don't watch for the stories, I watch the athletes pursuing their sport, and I find that coverage more and varied outside the US.

How do they focus? How do they handle the pressure, the loss, even the win? How do you haul yourself off the sand for the bazillionth time that afternoon to serve another ball? How do you look at something over twice your bodyweight and say: I'm gonna lift that fucker right over my head, see if I don't!

I love seeing people get teary and grin like mad fools over different anthems, over *their* anthem.

I realize in many ways it's a corrupt deal--the IOC, the countries, even the athletes are another part of the gaming we all do to feel good about our tribe and get along with other tribes we'd rather nuke to the stone age. Yes, it's cheesy and jaded-posing-as-idealistic, and in some ways a sham.

And yet, there's a kernel of something in the individual folks and the fact that we bother to play nice like this, with the stylized play of sport, that I think is one of the seeds of what will save us.

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

And yet, there's a kernel of something in the individual folks and the fact that we bother to play nice like this, with the stylized play of sport, that I think is one of the seeds of what will save us.

Agreed. I was watching the men's beach volleyball and the US team won their match, and I just...most of the athletes I've seen on ALL sides are just so incredibly gracious and generous with each other and their rivals.

I find some of the American coverage to be maddening, but I am really happy to root for the American teams while still getting really excited at the accomplishments of all the athletes. I feel like the American athletes represent my own hopeful vision of my country, and I'm happy to wallow in that, and to cheer on the other countries as their athletes compete (marveling and boggling at the different kinds of pressures each of them face).

[sophia-helix.livejournal.com]

No, I definitely agree in spirit because that's what the Olympics are about... but in practice, they can barely squeeze in any coverage of any of the events and keep having to cut back and forth and never showing the entirety of anything except races. I do certainly wish that they would SHUT UP about Phelps already (how many ways can they say "he has won X medals and needs X more to beat X record?" It's just numbers, people), and during the women's gymnastics I was annoyed that they were showing the US team warm up rather than other teams compete (although that does fit into the focus on the whole athlete, rather than just the competition itself), but with such limited primetime TV slots, I think it makes sense for the US media to cover its own athletes more than competitors. I do wish that there was a way to see whole competitions, though, since obviously they can't show all eight teams doing all five rounds of the synchronized diving, but it still would have been fun to watch.

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

FYI, they do a lot of live coverage online. Which would be great if I could ACCESS it. And were covering things during the day.

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

I'm bumping against the storage limit of my DVR daily, and watched a great deal of synchronized diving until I staggered to bed yesterday.

*ponders love letter to the CBC*

I will need to catch up on the online coverage for weightlifting, which has gotten short shrift IMO.