I Knew Going In
Feb. 4th, 2008 03:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
itsallovernowOver the course of my life, there've been a number of choices I've made that everyone in the world (or at least, everyone who knew me even a little) knew would not end well for me. Everyone, of course, but me:
a)Holding onto the cat's tail. I was two. I was in love. Enough said.
b) Winding the hairbrush, the eggbeaters, the curling iron, or the hairdryer into my hair at various points of my childhood and adolescence. It always got stuck. I always shrieked and cried. There was always a big chunk of hair missing.
c) Playing the oboe. (Seriously, anyone who's ever been near either a child or an oboe knows that unless the kid's a musical prodigy, or really, really inclined to practice their talent unsupervised, the oboe is not for the faint of heart. This applies equally to the violin, the cello and any sort of brass instrument whatsoever).
d) Taking that cigarette from that oh so cute boy. So damnably cute.
e) Going to grad school. For archaeology. I hate to camp.
f) All those boys in grad school. Particularly the pretty ones.
g) That last martini, that last whiskey, that last vodka and orange juice. Any and all of the above, any time. Goldschlagger - the one and only time.
h) The U-Haul and the City Bus and subzero weather and man was that bus driver having a crappy day. The tape player and my dad's car and being 16 and man did that tree and my dad's trucks axel have a seriously crappy day as well.
i) Ficathons!! (Not in general, just those I've signed up for without inspiration or motivation).
j) Saying yes.
k) Saying no.
l) Living with M.
m) Opening the oven door that time when the oven became a fireball.
n) Most of my DIY projects - including taking apart the sink, taking apart the VCR, installing a new screen door, installing a new door to the bedroom, drilling holes, crawling up into the space above the bathroom in my Athens apartment and getting stuck. Projects I can never finish on my own.
0) Putting pine nuts under the broiler. And forgetting about them. Also, see corn tortillas. Fire, fire everywhere.
p) Taking that job. The one with the crazy woman.
q) Living in the Paper Street House (even though at the time, we didn't even know Paper Street existed. I was Jack's bleeding ulcer.)
r) Singing "Me and Bobby McGee" at karaoke with someone who swore they knew the words. And lied.
s)Hemingway. We were always on a crash course of mutual loathing.
t) Multi-tasking while depilitory activity was going on. You never know how much you're gonna want hair in delicate areas until it's gone.
u) Waxing delicate parts after. Ultimately, it's a trade off of cause and effect, but anyone who tells you it doesn't hurt is lying!
v) Silent Hill. M's a nutcase for convincing me this was a good movie.
w) Stealing popcorn out of the display case at the Chinese Theater during the midnight screening of Casino Royale and a LOT of bourbon. It's really just there for pretty.
x)The flying dismount off the monkey bars.
y)Banana Laffy Taffy.
z) Thinking that going out with someone who no longer wants to date me, but still wants to see me is not going to hurt like fuck. Really, I mean really, this should have been a no brainer.
Contrary to the above list, I am not a stupid girl. But sometimes, oh sometimes, I so have to learn by doing. I've gotta fuck it up before I figure it out. There outta be a law. Or at the very least a big psychic slap, like the crazy cheesy Maldis hand coming out of the either to whack you.
a)Holding onto the cat's tail. I was two. I was in love. Enough said.
b) Winding the hairbrush, the eggbeaters, the curling iron, or the hairdryer into my hair at various points of my childhood and adolescence. It always got stuck. I always shrieked and cried. There was always a big chunk of hair missing.
c) Playing the oboe. (Seriously, anyone who's ever been near either a child or an oboe knows that unless the kid's a musical prodigy, or really, really inclined to practice their talent unsupervised, the oboe is not for the faint of heart. This applies equally to the violin, the cello and any sort of brass instrument whatsoever).
d) Taking that cigarette from that oh so cute boy. So damnably cute.
e) Going to grad school. For archaeology. I hate to camp.
f) All those boys in grad school. Particularly the pretty ones.
g) That last martini, that last whiskey, that last vodka and orange juice. Any and all of the above, any time. Goldschlagger - the one and only time.
h) The U-Haul and the City Bus and subzero weather and man was that bus driver having a crappy day. The tape player and my dad's car and being 16 and man did that tree and my dad's trucks axel have a seriously crappy day as well.
i) Ficathons!! (Not in general, just those I've signed up for without inspiration or motivation).
j) Saying yes.
k) Saying no.
l) Living with M.
m) Opening the oven door that time when the oven became a fireball.
n) Most of my DIY projects - including taking apart the sink, taking apart the VCR, installing a new screen door, installing a new door to the bedroom, drilling holes, crawling up into the space above the bathroom in my Athens apartment and getting stuck. Projects I can never finish on my own.
0) Putting pine nuts under the broiler. And forgetting about them. Also, see corn tortillas. Fire, fire everywhere.
p) Taking that job. The one with the crazy woman.
q) Living in the Paper Street House (even though at the time, we didn't even know Paper Street existed. I was Jack's bleeding ulcer.)
r) Singing "Me and Bobby McGee" at karaoke with someone who swore they knew the words. And lied.
s)Hemingway. We were always on a crash course of mutual loathing.
t) Multi-tasking while depilitory activity was going on. You never know how much you're gonna want hair in delicate areas until it's gone.
u) Waxing delicate parts after. Ultimately, it's a trade off of cause and effect, but anyone who tells you it doesn't hurt is lying!
v) Silent Hill. M's a nutcase for convincing me this was a good movie.
w) Stealing popcorn out of the display case at the Chinese Theater during the midnight screening of Casino Royale and a LOT of bourbon. It's really just there for pretty.
x)The flying dismount off the monkey bars.
y)Banana Laffy Taffy.
z) Thinking that going out with someone who no longer wants to date me, but still wants to see me is not going to hurt like fuck. Really, I mean really, this should have been a no brainer.
Contrary to the above list, I am not a stupid girl. But sometimes, oh sometimes, I so have to learn by doing. I've gotta fuck it up before I figure it out. There outta be a law. Or at the very least a big psychic slap, like the crazy cheesy Maldis hand coming out of the either to whack you.
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no subject
Date: 2008-02-05 04:54 am (UTC)You think you can until you can't and then, oh, man, talk about being sorry. And the whole time you find yourself thinking, 'why didn't I just schedule an appointment and pay someone else to do this?'
u) Waxing delicate parts after. Ultimately, it's a trade off of cause and effect, but anyone who tells you it doesn't hurt is lying!
Everybody knows it hurts like hell, but for some reason people try to tell you it's really not all that bad. One bit that helps, morning waxing hurts way less than doing it in the evening.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-05 07:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-05 12:02 pm (UTC)