Can you count backwards to 28?

[itsallovernow]

ETA: Please feel free to keep requesting even if the limit has been reached because the J/A requests will either be rolled into one or two, or saved for later:)

Pre-apologies for the spam.

Rolls eyes at self. Because of the whole blood clot thing, I can't ever take birth control. Which sucks on a fundamental nothing to do with reproduction front. I've never had PMS, but then, I've been on birth control for most of my adult life. So the past two years have been an exercise in rediscovering my body, mostly for the worse. And a bloody (ha ha) week of PMS has been at the top of the things that annoy me about my post-30, post Ortho-Tricyclin body. I'm moody, weepy, prone to fits of tears and self-doubt and my breasts ache like fuck and I swell like a balloon, and it finally occurred to me to count backwards, and low and behold I'm a week prior to my period.

Rolls eyes. Stoopid hormones. But at least I know why I'm raging between manicness and crying, high as a kite laughter and depressionish self-loathing. Rolls eyes again.

So, in the spirit of banishing such things, I'm opening up the drabble request hotline, with a caveat. The request must be for some sort of porn, and it must be happy sex (doesn't mean the characters can't normally be big balls o' angst, but the sex in trade is gonna involve a little joy because my last two fics have involved sex in the midst of doubt, sex as comfort, and I want a little freedom from seriousness.

Any fandom I'm familiar with - Farscape, SG-1 S9, new Who, Angel (not Buffy, unless specifically requested), Firefly, VM (shuddup Kath), BSG (although, really, don't ask for that!!), X-Files, etc. If you're not sure I know the fandom, ask. Answers will be in the comments, and I'm putting a limit of 10 on this (with the additional caveat that there's always someone who gets ignored, unintentionally due to a variety of reasons. Last time it was two challenges I really wanted to meet!)

Comments

[cofax7]

Errr, Sam/Cam SG-1 S9?

[cofax7]

or S10, for that matter.

[simplystars.livejournal.com]

FS - Aeryn/John, only Aeryn's *dreaming.* :D

[simplystars.livejournal.com]

Or, you know, Jayne - 'cos he hardly ever gets any. *snicker*

[life-on-queen.livejournal.com]

Rolls eyes. Stoopid hormones. But at least I know why I'm raging between manicness and crying, high as a kite laughter and depressionish self-loathing. Rolls eyes again.

Not laughing at you but if I'm PMSing, I was pretty sure you were too because, well, I know way too much about my fellow Hussies' cycles.

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's the beauty of the overshare:) And The Jerk conversation in the car on the way to Target: "I just need a parking space to be happy. A parking space and a seat on the airplane. And tampons."

[boofadil.livejournal.com]

Firefly -- Either River or Kaylee. I admit that Kaylee would be easier to make happy...

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

The first time River kissed her, she tasted like strawberries.

They hadn't had strawberries in nearly a month, so that was kind of a surprise.

"Simon bought me lipgloss," she said, reading Kaylee's mind, and damn if that wasn't a little upsettin' to think that River could see inside her head, just like that.

"It's nice," Kaylee replies. "Can I try it?" River kisses her again in response. This tiny she slips in her small, pink tongue. Even her tongue tastes like strawberries.

"The taste goes right through," she says, sticks out her tongue after she withdraws. "I tried it."

***
The second time River kisses her, she tastes like tears, Kaylee's tears, because no matter how much she likes Simon's fine, strong body and kind mouth and doctor's hands, she's just never gonna be first on his list.

River finds her slumped against Serenity's engines.

"I brought the jacks," she says, so much less mad these days. "But I'm a good substitute."

She crawls towards Kaylee, puts her hands on either side of her knees, gripping the metal flooring, and kisses her.

Kaylee turns her head, wipes away the tears and the snot. "I liked the strawberries better."

"Okay," River says, eyes wide and dark.

***
The third time River kisses her, she tastes like Kaylee, tastes like slickness and sex, tastes like Simon. So much so that it gives Kaylee pause, even with this pretty, pretty girl pressed naked against her body.

"He didn't do that?" River's tilts her head, confused.

"No," Kaylee whispers, strokes dark hair away from River's pixie face. "He did."

"Okay,"River says, and moves back down her body, tongue sweet and kind and perfect in Kaylee's cunt. River brings the taste back with her.

Kaylee rolls the girl to her back and kisses her neck.

"You can read my mind," she says, soft and wondrous.

"Yes," River says.

"Okay," she replies, strokes along the thin collarbone, feeling 14 and touching Jessa Relan's breast in an open wheat field, just to see what it was like.

"I can't read your mind," Kaylee says, bites her lip. "Never could read his either. You're gonna have to tell me what feels nice."

She leans down, initiates the kiss and this time, River tastes like wildflowers and metal and the edges of madness. It's a good taste and Kaylee thinks she can stay here for awhile.

[vonniek.livejournal.com]

You are watching Veronica Mars? Exceeeeellent.

I shall request a pairing of your choice among the following: Veronica/Logan, Veronica/Weevil, Mac/Veronica or Logan/Weevil. Or threesome/foursome if you feel like it. Go crazy.

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

"You're offering me sexual favors as a trade for helping you stay out of jail?"

Weevil shrugs his shoulders like this is normal, like it's currency.

"Eli," she uses his name to drive the point home. "My name is not Big Bertha, and I don't take cigarettes in trade either."

He looks her up and down, puts his hands in his pockets. "You're loss, but you're gonna have to go ask my Gramma for the moeny."

***
Logan's waiting on the steps of the apartment building. He follows her inside, hands grabbing, slipping over her. She drops her bag on the counter, starts to unbutton her shirt because her dad's gone for a week and if she can't be a normal high school, former high school, girl - college girl, she whispers mentall - in other respects, she can at least get down and dirty with her boyfriend on the couch while her dad's away.

Logan rolls his groan in his throat like he didn't know he was going to get any and she stops, white uniform shirt half shrugged off. Her bra is white, plain and she feels like a school girl, is vaguely embarrassed to stand here half dressed in front of Logan Echolls, despite the things they've learned to do to each other over the summer. Sex has been way easier than talking.

"Weevil offered to trade cunnilingus for my mad PI skillz," she says, offhanded. Logan wraps his nimble tongue around the word cunnilingus, her original post-modern poster boy, and tilts his head.

"Can I assume you declined his offer?"

She shrugs. "I've got all the cunnilingus I can handle these days," she says, and it's a tease, but it's kinda true. Logan's mostly given up his other hobbies.

Her shirt's still mostly half-on, and there's something she's trying to reason out.

Logan sighs, reaches forward to stroke her waist.

"What, do I need to go kick his ass?"

"It wasn't... creepy. Just... I don't know... weird. Like it was a normal request. Like sex was something to take in trade."

Logan's eyes get small and shrewd and he looks at her like she's an idiot, like her naivete is less charming than faintly fetid. She kind of hates him like this. She's not naive. But it was Weevil, and...

"Veronica," he says patiently, like it's something she doesn't know. "I'm a millionaire orphan. Sex is about the only currency that counts for anything these days."

"I guess that makes me your Bank of America," she quips, and gets back the smile. She leans in to kiss him, tired of the orphan boy sorrow, ready for a return to sex and not so much conversation.

"And don't," she says, putting her fingers against his lips, "you dare say you're about to make a deposit."

He laughs his way down her body, and puts his skills to good use.

[scout27.livejournal.com]

ahhh...John and Aeryn my friend...always with the John and Aeryn...PLEASEEEE!

[oneeyethedrd.livejournal.com]

Okay, here's an idea (feel free to discard if you've already hit your limit...)

Farscape. John and Aeryn, new parents, overcoming baby-sized obstacles to find the fun. A bit of frustration only sweetens the eventual success, after all.

[nestra.livejournal.com]

Cameron slash? I'd take Cameron/Daniel, Cameron/Teal'c, or anything you feel motivated towards.

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Hee - how do you feel about a threesome? Cam/Daniel/Vala or Cam/Teal'c/Vala?

[elliejane.livejournal.com]

John and Aeryn...first night they get together on Talyn...they could be happy, gleeful even on finally finding each other (eep, did that sound smaltzy??).

Momentarily stepping outside Thea's universe where they have been at it like bunnies from day one ;)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

I would like Cameron/whomever or Creighton/Aeryn with some kind of virtual reality that goes interactive if they pick the same (*ahem*sexy) scenario (unbeknownst to them?) Props if there's something a bit alien about the direction the scenario goes in.

Also, have you considered birthcontrol devices? IUD, maybe?

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

It's not so much the reproduction/prevention aspect that's killing me, it's the OMG why do I now have PMS and I want my 3.5 day period back aspect. I'm old enough to know that alternate methods are a better idea anyway, but I waaaaant my pills back:)

Creighton/Aeryn with some kind of virtual reality that goes interactive if they pick the same (*ahem*sexy) scenario (unbeknownst to them?

I can only respond to this by saying "Wait until Season 4:)"

[kazbaby]

I'm going to be different since everyone is going for regular pairings. Season 1 FS, John/hand(s) (but sort of like in the movie American Pie)

*runs and hides*

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Ya mean masturbation?

PMS help

[raithen.livejournal.com]

A B-complex, taken daily (AM is usually better, as it is a diuretic), and taken twice daily close to your cycle, will usually help with the boob swelling and mood swings.

A blend of women's herbs, taken in the two weeks before your cycle, can also help with the mood swings -- there are several on the market; I'd talk to a health food store clerk who knows her stock to find one that might work for your set of symptoms. Primrose Oil also helps some women.

And yes, it sucks....

Re: PMS help

[raithen.livejournal.com]

Also, regular acupuncture at about day 21 of a 28 day cycle has been a GODSEND. Months I have to miss it because life gets in the way are INEVITABLY full of messy tears....

[haphazardmethod.livejournal.com]

I'm a firm believer in ibuprofin to take away the PMS heebie jeebies.

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

I think less caffeine, more vitamins, and sticking to my exercise regimen will also help:)

[riarambles.livejournal.com]

BSG! (*evil cackle*) or Veronica Mars or Farscape or Firefly, but really, BSG! because pilotsex is love.

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Oy!! Only because you've had a hell of a couple of months!

[life-on-queen.livejournal.com]

Hee. That's great. It would be good for Sam to get some for a change.

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

And from such a pretty source:)

[fourteenlines.livejournal.com]

Seeing as my new OBSESSION is New Who, I am hereby requesting or suggesting New Who. Rose and Ten? (Rose and Mickey?) Captain Jack and...anyone?

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Can't do Ten. I haven't seen any of those eps yet. I'll work on the other options.

[(Anonymous)]

Love your Cam/Vala. A happy Cam/Vala would be nice to go with that one.

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Yeah! Thank you.

[gigerisgod.livejournal.com]

Amen to that.

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Hee:) Is this for the post or one of the drabbles?

[cofax7]

OMG taht's just... I think my brain melted.

::puddles::

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Hee - it's the pretty that kills you!!

[amalthia]

I liked this a lot. :)

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Thank you!

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Exacly. Me thinks the lady is projecting just a wee bit:)

[sevathediva.livejournal.com]

Oh. My.

Ponies! This is so damned funny and frighteningly feasible.

Love it

seva

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Hee. Ponies seems to be the killing point.

[sevathediva.livejournal.com]

Awwww. Season 1 John is so cute!

seva

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Isn't he:)

[sevathediva.livejournal.com]

This is a pairing I could buy. And, they would be so cute together.

Thanks for organizing these, by the way.

seva

[sevathediva.livejournal.com]

oops! This is posted in the wrong window.

Ignore, please, or imagine that it is posted under the Cam/Sam offering.

seva