We're Trapped in the Spine Taste Continuum

[itsallovernow]

Seriously, neither rubberneck nor I should really be allowed to drive with only the other person in the car. For one, we drive way too much alike, and for two, neither one of us is real good with the verbal directions.

Plus, we get way distracted by things like the discount adult pleasure store butted up against the Wonderbread outlet. In the immortal words of Feldman, "I'd like two day old Twinkies and a thong, please."

(The first year IHW was held in the Frozen Tundra, they picked me up from the airport, and brought me outside to discover that the Canadian was driving. This was strange because a)I didn't until that point know that the Canadian knew how to drive. b) She's a Canadian. c) She doesn't drive during the normal course of her week. and e) There were a slew of other qualified citizens who could have driven. She did okay though, aside from one particular left hand exit off the freeway which so baffled life_on_queen's sense of reality as she knew it that by the time we'd convinced her it was real, we were waaaaay past it. Mr. F remains baffled to this day, but our sympathies remain with Kath.)

So, it's been suggested to me that I perhaps am a little OCD about certain things, particularly food and the presentation thereof, and really, it's just basic rules to live by. We all have them, it's just that, much like Sally, I want what I want the way that I want it. And I'm always polite about it.

So, a few of my basic rules to live by:

1. Food should not touch other food on the plate unless meant to do so (gravy goes on gravy things, casserole is its own entity, etc.)

2. Food should not be touching me unless I intend to eat it, or unless you've been given special dispensation and a pre-arranged contract and plan on doing things to me that will make it worth my while and a promise to clean up afterwards. And even then, it's a hard sell. (Meaning, I won't say NEVER to food and sex, because I don't believe in never. But I believe strongly in not bloody likely.)

3. Talking dolls are creepy. Talking dolls on television or on the big screen, way creepy.

4. I do not like birds unless they are the kind that can bite the heads off tiny creatures.

5. I do not, for the most part, find monkeys adorable. I find them creepy (but not talking doll creepy. Mostly it's the number of them I studiend in skeletal form that turned me off monkeys for good).

6. I have totally valid reasons for the things I will and will not eat. Shark is a predator. Swordfish is a predator. Karma says don't eat 'em. Lamb and veal are tiny things that I don't want to participate in. And eggplant is just terrifying.

7. Socks are bad, bad things. Feet should be free and not trapped in some horrible wool/cotton cocoon.

8. Do not kill spiders. Even the big terrifying, scary black widows outside of the studio that I fear may soon encroach upon my "you stay out of my way I stay out of yours" philosophy. *

9. I will drink the water if the cat puts his face in it. With feet, however, all bets are off.

10. Naked is usually better and modesty gets you nowhere. However, if I'm wearing clothes, I would prefer that all my requisite parts stay in the clothes. Also, skinny jeans are no one's friend!

11. The first paragraph of a book will almost always be an accurate indicator of whether or not I'll like the book.

12. Yes, I listen for the lyrics.

13. Yes, smart is sexy. (Sadly, 19 and swimmers shoulders and a vague expression can also be sexy, as can cranky and mouthy. But mostly, smart. With laughter.)

14. Lucius Vorenus had it right. "Fuck 'em." And let God sort out the details.

15. Yes, nice really is different than good.

*Caveat - should Cat A or Cat B decide that spiders are fun and exciting toys, that is their business. Should Cat A accidentally snort a tiny spider up his nose and spend the next 10 minutes being very confused and still looking for the spider, laughter is entirely appropriate.

So, basic daily rules. Tell me some of yours.

Comments

[6beforelunch.livejournal.com]

A general rule of thumb for my life: Any activity is made better if it can be done in jeans.

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Very true:) Of course, in Los Angeles, that includes just about anything:)

on food presentation

[loligo.livejournal.com]

I've gotten more relaxed about this in the past decade, but I still much prefer to have the toppings *evenly distributed* on sandwiches and pizza. I have been much mocked by friends for evening out my restaurant food before I eat it. (Deli-style sandwiches are the *worst*. Huge wodge of meat in the middle, big ring of empty bread at the edge!)

Re: on food presentation

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Oh absolutely. Even is much, much better!

[cretkid.livejournal.com]

one of my rules to live by:

* regardless of who is using the bathroom, the toilet seat AND lid MUST be put down; it is one thing to have a dog come up and lick your face, it is quite another to be slobbered on after the dog has had her entire head in the toilet bowl.

as for food touching things...
I used to be that way; well, in a way I still am. I still eat all my mashed potatoes before moving on to my corn, I will eat a slice of buttered bread in its entirety before moving on to something else. But generally, if food touches an in a not-icky way (corn in mashed potatoes, ok; corn in jello goes against the laws of nature) I will continue to eat it, and if not, I go with the stand-by "it's for the angels"

Granted, I will also eat garbage plates (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garbage_plate), but I find it a decent combination (minus the onions, but that's a texture thing for me) despite how others *ahem, other hussys* feel about it. :D

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

I can't even THINK about the garbage plate!!

But dude, I'm so with you on the toilet seat. The cat will try and get his whole self in there!

[cretkid.livejournal.com]

garbage plates are an acquired taste, i will grant that.

[kernezelda]

That garbage plate looks terrific! *is hungry*

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Oh god. Not another one!! :)

[lomer.livejournal.com]

If my choice is shoes or no shoes, no shoes always wins.

NEVER put your feet on the dash of my car though, ESPECIALLY your bare feet. I love my friends, but dude, respect the car!

Certain foods are evil pretenders of other foods. Sweet potatos? Totally not a potato. It tastes weird and should not exist. Squash and eggplant should also not exist even though I'm supposed to be a grown up and have developed a taste for them by now.

Ketchup should be seperate from fries so one may DIP their fries. Please do not squirt globs of ketchup directly ON my fries.

Never ever attempt to "tidy" up my space. If my space is chaotic that just means it's organized in ways you can't understand. "Helping" me just makes me territorial, cranky, and disorganized.

Those are all my little OCD things I can think of. *g*

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

No shoes is fantastic. And meshes weirdly with my love of shoes in general. But sometimes it's about the aesthetics. At my birthday party, I had these gorgeous sexy heels, which I took off early on and then had to go put on and show people as they came in, and then had to go take them off again:)

[lomer.livejournal.com]

I use to ALWAYS wear shoes. We were raised to wear shoes in the house and keep them on at all times. There was no padding around the house in socks or bare feet. No slippers, just shoes. Then I started to do more lyrical dancing, and movement classes and at some point in the last two year I discovered I LOVE walking around in bare feet.

[kernezelda]

Let's see.

It's not a compulsion, but a strong preference that the label on my towel should always be at on my right, at the lower corner.

There should at all times be a gallon of cold water available in my fridge.

There should always be a half-gallon or more of fresh ice-cold milk in my fridge.

I like mixing different foods together to see what kind of interesting flavor I can get, within a limited range.

There is not now, nor will there ever be fish/seafood as a dish in my house.

There are unicorns (either posters, paintings or sculptures) on every wall of my house to keep it safe from evil supernatural things, which is a superstition I developed as a teen and vaguely hold as true even now.

When I lived at home, there were specific 'safe zones' in my house, where any potential sharks or lethal African dolls couldn't get me - no hanging limbs off the sides or ends of beds or couches, for instance. Outside was safer than inside at all times, because I could see/hear anything coming.

I can't have lipstick lying on its side in the cabinet. It must be upright. All bottle things in the cabinet must be upright.

When I'm walking with someone, I tend to hang to their right, and usually end up bumping into them repeatedly. Walking on the left of someone is not at all comfortable.

There, quirks!

[kernezelda]

Also, either barefoot or closed shoe with sock or stocking, no inbetween. No sandals, flipflops, or plastic shoes with holes.

[ropo.livejournal.com]

Yours are good, though they are not mine. I will work on mine.

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

I cannot WAIT to see yours:)

[suenix.livejournal.com]

The dogs are only allowed on the bed OUTSIDE
the covers. And there will be no touching of the pillows.

Stupid I know. But I have actually managed to teach
3 dogs the difference so far.

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

That in itself deserves a commendation!!

[ladybirdness.livejournal.com]

outer house doors are locked after dark/9pm whichever comes first

the house is a barefoot or slippers zone for the residents (guests can remove shoes if they're clean types..smelly people can fucking go home)

animals are supposed to be outside creatures (I'm fighting a losing battle on this one with my fiance..he has a dog)

spiders and other large creepycrawlies are to stay the hell out of my way or suffer my wrath

people who try to "help me clean up" are asking for it...I know where my shit is damnit you move it I get all messed up

stealing my coke is a killing offense

I have other things...some are good others bad...but these are a not too bad base

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Hee - okay, the outside creatures thing I get, but couldn't ever act on:)

And anyone who wants to help me clean is more than welcome to it:)