How's It Tuesday Already
May. 9th, 2006 12:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
itsallovernowI'm sort of in love with my Ficathon grid. It's blue and pretty and I'm fairly certain that most of the assignees/assigned will be ultra pleased.
That, however, is the best thing about my day, which started with my father calling to tell me his wife was going to put him in a nursing home for complaining about his teeth (not true, at all, although I wouldn't blame her if she did). The phone call ended with me telling him that if he didn't stop feeling sorry for himself, and start appreciating things, I wouldn't take phone calls from him any more. Then I went into the bathroom at work and cried, because I work in a cube and shared this lovely adventure it parent/child relations with my entire office.
I feel like the only option I've got left is to move back home, to find a job in Colorado so I can take some of the burden of my step-mother. And that makes me want to cry even harder. Everytime I get some creative momentum going, I feel like real life just steps in and stomps on it. And maybe being an artist means that you work through it, turn these moments into art, but mostly I want to turn them into rage and tears.
Anyone of a mind to cheer me up through drabbles, or anything that makes them happy, the efforts would not go unappreciated.
On a far more amusing note, one of the SMRT-TV writers linked the "Cops in Space" article to Whedonesque, and man are the responses making me giggle, mostly in a good way. I'm tempted to join so I can respond, but it's sort of more fun to just read. My particular favorites are the one about "Firefly" fullfilling the requirements I'd laid out for "Cops in Space", the other wanting Brian Henson to make a TV show. Do you think someone should tell him?
That, however, is the best thing about my day, which started with my father calling to tell me his wife was going to put him in a nursing home for complaining about his teeth (not true, at all, although I wouldn't blame her if she did). The phone call ended with me telling him that if he didn't stop feeling sorry for himself, and start appreciating things, I wouldn't take phone calls from him any more. Then I went into the bathroom at work and cried, because I work in a cube and shared this lovely adventure it parent/child relations with my entire office.
I feel like the only option I've got left is to move back home, to find a job in Colorado so I can take some of the burden of my step-mother. And that makes me want to cry even harder. Everytime I get some creative momentum going, I feel like real life just steps in and stomps on it. And maybe being an artist means that you work through it, turn these moments into art, but mostly I want to turn them into rage and tears.
Anyone of a mind to cheer me up through drabbles, or anything that makes them happy, the efforts would not go unappreciated.
On a far more amusing note, one of the SMRT-TV writers linked the "Cops in Space" article to Whedonesque, and man are the responses making me giggle, mostly in a good way. I'm tempted to join so I can respond, but it's sort of more fun to just read. My particular favorites are the one about "Firefly" fullfilling the requirements I'd laid out for "Cops in Space", the other wanting Brian Henson to make a TV show. Do you think someone should tell him?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2006-05-09 07:33 pm (UTC)Also I'm chompin' at the bit for my Thelmassignment...
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Date: 2006-05-09 07:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-09 07:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-09 07:42 pm (UTC)(If I'm invited. *g*)
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Date: 2006-05-09 07:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-09 07:58 pm (UTC)I could come over, as well. If addresses and such were emailed to me.
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Date: 2006-05-09 07:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-09 08:02 pm (UTC)But aside from that: hee.
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Date: 2006-05-09 08:20 pm (UTC)Also, dunno if she's your cup of tea, but Sylvia makes me very happy.
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Date: 2006-05-09 08:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-09 08:08 pm (UTC)No.
And that makes me want to cry even harder.
No.
Everytime I get some creative momentum going, I feel like real life just steps in and stomps on it. And maybe being an artist means that you work through it, turn these moments into art, but mostly I want to turn them into rage and tears.
No. *whacks Thea over the nose with a rolled up newspaper*
Sacrificing yourself on the altar of filial responsibility is a really good way to ruin your life and make everyone around you miserable. Your father is *not* your responsibility. And if your conscience gives you grief, tell it I said so.
In the meantime, I love you and watch your e-mail box....*iz mysterious*
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Date: 2006-05-09 08:17 pm (UTC)It's just... a little much somedays.
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Date: 2006-05-09 08:21 pm (UTC)It's a nogoodbadawfulunfair thing, hon. I wish there was more I could do...
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Date: 2006-05-09 08:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-09 08:25 pm (UTC)also, I posted something for you :). Not fun porn, but still.
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Date: 2006-05-09 08:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-09 09:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-09 08:58 pm (UTC)As for your stuff with your Dad...if helping him is a *choice* you can make, then I say do it. I can only recommend it on personal experience.
However, I feel that little good will come of it if you feel forced into such a move - you will resent him for it, and yourself, and it will only make things worse.
Fret not over the arts/writerly stuff. It will come round again. Also? Anyone who tells you that you can't be creative in CO is a fool. *YOU* are creative - as you have ever been - not the chair you sit in or the office you work in or the city you live in. So I say fret not over where you are - just do what needs doing.
(Which is something far easier for me to say than to do myself.)
Take care of you.
- hg
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Date: 2006-05-09 09:10 pm (UTC)And thanks dear. It's just hard sometimes, because I already resent him for no longer being who and what he was. And I know that's pointless.
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Date: 2006-05-09 09:23 pm (UTC)It is likely hard all the time, and just as he can not become someone he is not, anymore, nor can you expect yourself to not morn that loss. Pointless, perhaps, except for the way loving people - and missing them - is the point.
- hg
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Date: 2006-05-09 09:35 pm (UTC)Oy, sorry. It has so been one of those days.
File sent!! Any sense you can make of it would be appreciated. I figure we'll give people until July 5th now, to make up for me being late (and the matching being far harder than I thought it would be).
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Date: 2006-05-09 09:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-09 09:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-09 09:30 pm (UTC)I wonder to what degree your feelings of guilt, and the susequent resentfulness, come from your recent feelings that your career life etc are not where they are "supposed" to be. Do you maybe feel like you "should" do this because you do not have the perfect career/family/partner etc in LA -- that you are somehow more "free" to move and to help out than others would be? Because hon, you have worked DAMN hard to get where you are at, and you should NOT feel bad about wanting to protect that.
If you were in a tenure track job somewhere, I'm betting you wouldn't feel guilty. Just because you chose the more precarious but no less laudable lifestyle of a starting out writer does NOT mean you are any more required or free to move. If you did NOT have all of that and wanted to move to CO because you could a) help out and b) perhaps build a happier life, that would be one thing. but we all know that is not the case.
{{hugs}} don't beat yourself up for staying the course!
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Date: 2006-05-09 09:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-09 09:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-09 09:29 pm (UTC)You are bright and creative and skilled no matter where you are, but if you are miserable, any problems that you perceive will only grow huge and monstrous.
Your father has a wife, and you can help, but you don't owe your father giving up the life you've made for yourself.
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Date: 2006-05-09 09:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-09 10:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-09 10:10 pm (UTC)The first thought that I had yesterday when you mentioned Butler Harvey (but that I didn't want to say, because that would be admitting that I was thinking about it!) --
If Dean and Sam ran into Harvey first, Harvey would so get shot. Unless Sam moved fast enough. But I'm thinking he'd be really annoying, and his nose would start sprouting, and Dean would say, "Okay, that's it," and shoot him. And Harvey would go, "Eep!" and clutch at his chest and fall over. And Sam would start yelling, and Dean would tell him "Yell later. Find a way out of this damn room now." But then Sam would sigh and point, and Dean would notice that Harvey was still kicking, just every once in a while, so he'd shoot him again. And that would bring Ogre!Crais in, with Princess Aeryn trailing after, and there would be growling and ooohing and clinging and shouting and lisping and...
I AM NOT THINKING ABOUT THIS. But I give you this because. But I will deny it!
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Date: 2006-05-09 10:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-09 10:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-09 11:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-09 11:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-10 12:20 am (UTC)Katya shared this with me. Scroll down until you hit English language text.
:)
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Date: 2006-05-10 04:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-10 05:38 am (UTC)(Lost my first post, will have to update tomorrow) However, let me just say that the sociopsychology of illness is complex and often confounding, and very, very powerful. I have been a nurse for (God help me) twelve years, and boy, have I seen a lot of patients, and family, and patient/family manipulation, conscious and subconscious.
Sorry, will be more coherent in the morning. Just couldn't stand to see your buttons pushed in such a (conscientious/subconsentious) way.
seva
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Date: 2006-05-10 04:41 pm (UTC)I very much appreciate all of the generous support and feedback! It means the world to me.
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Date: 2006-05-10 05:39 am (UTC)seva