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Yeah Friday!
Oct. 13th, 2006 12:58 pmHee - thanks for the participation in the Media Boyfriends post. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and am continuing to enjoy it.
If I ever find out who the person was who hacked Leviathan, I will so kick his or her ass. Do you know how long "Blue Eyes" is? Do you know how much I hate it right now? Do you know how much I wish I'd never hear of an ellipses? Argh. Do you also know how much I wish I didn't give a fuck about correcting my mistakes?
I'm feeling mildly disconnected from fandom right now. I don't watch the shows that are causing the oohs and ahs, except for BSG and mostly that I watch without anything fannish intentioned aside from pure reaction. I don't think that's bad. I think it'll help me with the NIP. I think it's also partly to blame for me rather start/stoppish approach to fic. Because of course you write the story to get it out of your head, but there's also a definite point when you write it with the anticipation of an audience, and knowing there's no audience is a little, defeating. It's the same with dance, of course you perform because it gives something back to you, but when you're dancing for a tiny audience, or a disinterested audience, it's more of a one way street. You can feed off their energy and participation, you've gotta harnass your own and figure out what you're getting from the experience. It's not a bad thing, but it's definitely a time/energy consideration. Because honestly, I have less of a problem disappointing myself than I do an audience. I can bail on a fic and feel only marginally guilty because generally, with fic, I know the story in my head. I've answered it, and while I may not have participated in the process of putting it on paper, I can generally live with that.
There are pictures of the big snowstorm in Western New York and for the first time in a decade, the sight of snow and scarves and winter is making me weepy and homesick. Maybe I really am ready for a change, in ways that I hadn't even anticipated. And waves frantically eastward to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
cretkid! Hope you aren't buried, dear!!
My friend Sh. found a deal to go to Rome in March for four days, and asked if I wanted to go and I said yes. I won't. Can't afford it, but it's been so nice to hold onto the idea that I'd be in Rome in March. There are a few purely sense memory moments that I hold tight to, and being in Rome, late at night, walking across the bridge that spans the Tiber with people I loved, being a little giddy, filled up with knowledge and Guiness and the feel of the city against the soles of my boots, the anticipation of potential new love, the way the air smelled - crisp and musty and rich - and the lights of the city and the Quirinale in front of us. Well, like I said, it's something to hold.
If I ever find out who the person was who hacked Leviathan, I will so kick his or her ass. Do you know how long "Blue Eyes" is? Do you know how much I hate it right now? Do you know how much I wish I'd never hear of an ellipses? Argh. Do you also know how much I wish I didn't give a fuck about correcting my mistakes?
I'm feeling mildly disconnected from fandom right now. I don't watch the shows that are causing the oohs and ahs, except for BSG and mostly that I watch without anything fannish intentioned aside from pure reaction. I don't think that's bad. I think it'll help me with the NIP. I think it's also partly to blame for me rather start/stoppish approach to fic. Because of course you write the story to get it out of your head, but there's also a definite point when you write it with the anticipation of an audience, and knowing there's no audience is a little, defeating. It's the same with dance, of course you perform because it gives something back to you, but when you're dancing for a tiny audience, or a disinterested audience, it's more of a one way street. You can feed off their energy and participation, you've gotta harnass your own and figure out what you're getting from the experience. It's not a bad thing, but it's definitely a time/energy consideration. Because honestly, I have less of a problem disappointing myself than I do an audience. I can bail on a fic and feel only marginally guilty because generally, with fic, I know the story in my head. I've answered it, and while I may not have participated in the process of putting it on paper, I can generally live with that.
There are pictures of the big snowstorm in Western New York and for the first time in a decade, the sight of snow and scarves and winter is making me weepy and homesick. Maybe I really am ready for a change, in ways that I hadn't even anticipated. And waves frantically eastward to
cretkid! Hope you aren't buried, dear!!My friend Sh. found a deal to go to Rome in March for four days, and asked if I wanted to go and I said yes. I won't. Can't afford it, but it's been so nice to hold onto the idea that I'd be in Rome in March. There are a few purely sense memory moments that I hold tight to, and being in Rome, late at night, walking across the bridge that spans the Tiber with people I loved, being a little giddy, filled up with knowledge and Guiness and the feel of the city against the soles of my boots, the anticipation of potential new love, the way the air smelled - crisp and musty and rich - and the lights of the city and the Quirinale in front of us. Well, like I said, it's something to hold.
