Midweek and well wishes

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday my favorite evil southern flower otherwise known as kernezelda, Happy Birthday to you.

John and ice cream, huh? Okay, something slow and sweet and a little sticky. Early eason 2.

( Slow Dissolve - PG )

Hmm - I'm out of witty repartee

Ever have those days where you just feel neediness seeping out of your skin, no dam available to block it up?

Yeah, those sort of days. Except my clock is off and that day started yesterday at about 9:00 p.m., had been jump started by ballet and my disgust with my body in the mirror, spilled over to rehearsal and I just felt mean and cold and angry, wanted out, wanted escape, didn't want to look at myself in the mirror next to all of these people smaller and slimmer than I was and I hated that, hated that reaction, that meanness inside myself.

crankygrrl, wanna know why I'm not watching Veronica Mars? Because she's tiny and gamine and blond and looks a little weaselish. I just, I have a lot of trouble relating to that. A whole host of trouble. I got past it with Buffy, and I'm sure, eventually, I'll get over it with VM, especially if you send me the VCD's, but there's a lot of unchecked aggression towards tiny, gamine, blond and teenaged, left over from my own adolescence when I was none of those things, didn't want to be those things and still felt lacking.


Whoa, that's way too much of my psyche laid bare on the internet. It's just a day about distance, about the wrong sort of quiet and about itchy anticipation. Posted the first few paragraphs of the novel, and they're rough but I know where they're going, and god that's a relief, that the ideas haven't fled in the face of their place on the page. It's a constant fear, you know, that putting pen to paper will make them evaporate instead of capturing them.

And finally, I resized the icons, so should anyone want them, feel free, just let me know:) I made another one, keeping in mind all of the things I've learned from the fabulous advice I got and from my own mistakes, and somehow it managed to not end up a jpg. It's a special skill, being this artless with technology:) It said .psd, and I knew that wasn't what I wanted, so I flattened the image, and it still said psd, and while I changed it to .jpg and sent it to myself and can see it on my computer, it won't load up to Photobucket.

So,
( Up for grabs, same icons, just resized )