itsallovernow | What are we going to do now?

I wasn't sure I'd have anything to say before I watched the episode. The show had been a part of my life since it started, and I've loved and respected if even though I never felt the same level of passion for it as I did for The X-Files or Farscape. But it was smart, had such a solid core, this amazing ability to build on a metaphor that was never beaten into the ground, and well, the final episode, flawed even though it may have been, came full circle and made me cry.

Because I slacked off as a viewer the past two seasons, there were highlights that I missed. I haven't seen most of the eps with the SIT's, don't really care about Spike and Buffy aside from loving the Spike of old, driving his spray painted car and screaming along to the Sex Pistols. I didn't like Faith at first, had to see Season three in repeats and then look back from Seasons 4 and 5 to to understand the appeal and see the layers that had been built in. Dawn never bothered me all that much, but I was certainly glad that her character grew up, and of course, I always, always loved Giles. Buffy, well, sometimes I could take her or leave her, but her struggle was always compelling, and she never flinched from it.

And finally, the finished the circle, completing the metaphor. First with the cookie theme at the beginning - and I must admit to some confusion over Angel being present. If he's so in love with Cordelia, why is he wondering if Buffy could love him again in the future? Not that I mind, I'm a sucker for that pairing. But her explanation, that realization we all come to that, no we may feel so responsible and grown up, but we're just not cooked yet. And the talking herself into an unintended sexual metaphor, so very reminiscent of many moments over the years, with the same look, the same realization of that didn't come out right. I was utterly charmed.

I also loved the shot of the three of them and Giles standing in the high school, bringing it all back to the beginning, talking about shopping, then peeling away, Giles first like it would have been when they were in high school and walking down the corridor, changed people.

What made this episode for me was those realizations. I'm not invested in the First Evil, in the plot line with the infant slayers, but I am invested in Buffy herself, and all through this, she took those necessary steps forward towards living in the world. Telling the first that she knew she'd die alone, and realizing that's true for everyone, not just the slayer. Understanding that sharing herself is the key to survival - for everyone - that connections keep us afloat. Stepping beyond yourself and your fears, your boundaries and bindings, and opening up to the world. That she's no longer alone, or no more so than anyone else now. She really can ask herself, what am I going to do now?

I'm going to another conference today, and then must then go home and frantically clean for weekend house guests. I'm taking tomorrow off - yeah - and will be away from technology for four days. Don't know how I'm gonna do it:) But at least I'll have many

farscapefriday drabbles to come back to. Hope everyone enjoys their three day weekend.

And - assuming SciFi sticks to their schedule- Monday night should begin the Liars, Guns and Money Trilogy. It's an amazing ride, and I'm so excited that new viewers will get to see it.