I'm still no where near the person I want to be, doing the things I want to do.
Ah. That.
And worse still, perhaps, is that you fear you will never get any closer to being those things than you are now.
And you don't want to be miserable and unhappy and unsatisfied all the rest of your life...and yet you don't want to settle either.
I know this place. I can't make your solution for you. You have to make that - find that, learn that - yourself. Which is likely as little comfort to you as it was to me. So I will only say...Keep going. Don't give up, don't give in. Keep on, keeping on.
And I don't have any … solutions. I don't even have anything new to say.
For me, many times, this is when I go back to the old words, back to prayer. Say it over and over again until it is no longer someone else's words, but my own. Say it over and over, until it becomes new again.
Litanies, prayers, chants, mantras. Call it what you like. I keep finding them throughout human history, even as prosaic as I think I can, I think I can.
It might not work for you at all. It doesn't always work for me.
I wish you luck, and all the best of fortune. When you get to the end of your rope, that's when you tie a knot, and hang in there.
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Date: 2008-02-26 04:32 am (UTC)Ah. That.
And worse still, perhaps, is that you fear you will never get any closer to being those things than you are now.
And you don't want to be miserable and unhappy and unsatisfied all the rest of your life...and yet you don't want to settle either.
I know this place. I can't make your solution for you. You have to make that - find that, learn that - yourself. Which is likely as little comfort to you as it was to me. So I will only say...Keep going. Don't give up, don't give in. Keep on, keeping on.
And I don't have any … solutions. I don't even have anything new to say.
For me, many times, this is when I go back to the old words, back to prayer. Say it over and over again until it is no longer someone else's words, but my own. Say it over and over, until it becomes new again.
Litanies, prayers, chants, mantras. Call it what you like. I keep finding them throughout human history, even as prosaic as I think I can, I think I can.
It might not work for you at all. It doesn't always work for me.
I wish you luck, and all the best of fortune. When you get to the end of your rope, that's when you tie a knot, and hang in there.
- hg