itsallovernow | On the Weirdest Fannish Wagon Ever

Things that I would not have anticipated as of yesterday afternoon:

That I would see this week's SGA. Of course, I also didn't anticpate meeting the newest member of

iamsab's household who is furry and sweet and giant and... learning. I anticipate Radar will be doing a great deal of learning in the coming months. Sitting on the couch, we decided to watch SGA with the promise that "Teal'c and Ronon are supposed to go to Earth and have adventures" - while I read this to mean they'd go to the mall naked and maybe have Orange Julii and go to Build a Bear and Wet Seal and maybe do some naked sparring before hitting the strip clubs on Nevada and then going to the bar next to The Hogan which still serves Budweiser as their "Premium" beer, I was nonetheless thoroughly pleased by seeing the two men-mountains interacting. So pleased. Truly (and I mean this in the most complimentary way possible, they could not have been more gay if they tried).

So why, oh why, is there no Ronon/Teal'c? I mean really people? Why has this not come up previously!! Even with Teal'c's scary hair!!!

I mean, throw Vala in there and while she still might get squashed, it'd be a hell of a threesome.

Second thing I couldn't anticpate: that I'd develop so desperate a craving to watch the first three seasons of Buffy that I'd go to three differnt places to get them. Nor that I'd be ensconced in my bed at 10 on a Friday night, planning out which eps from the first season I wanted to see.

Crazy huh?

I can trace some of it I think. I've been unable to shake my sadness, my feelings of being stuck and trapped and useless, unable to make decisions, enact change, unable to get to the point of feeling like something good is in store, that I can make something happen, that I am more than who I feel I am right now. Not as alone as I feel. Not as...diminished, diminishing. Not unwanted. And really, despite not being a member of the Cult of Joss, there is something terribly powerful about a show about a girl, a literal girl, taking on her destiny and calling it on it's bullshit. And right now, I'm looking for a little of that nerve to kick me in my own ass.