itsallovernow | Inclinations

With the TV in the state it's in, I've been drifting even further off the fannish radar, unwilling to even watch stuff on DVD. It's not a lack of interest in media, it's just... my energies are sort of occupied with work right now, with finding a balance, and hopefully finding room somewhere to write. Plus, watching television involves being at home and being quiet and being reflective, and frankly, I'm reflective enough on a moment to moment basis and have been sort of dreading time spent alone in my freezing apartment. I don't...I do, actually, probably need some time to reflect, to write things down, to figure out if the changes I want are truly possible in the way I want them to come around, but I've been reluctant, at loose ends when alone, whereas I am normally pretty happy to be quiet and by myself.

Part of it is definitely the heat issue - if I'm at home in winter, I'm in the bath tub, and despite advice to watch TV in the bath on the laptop, my retreat has ALWAYS been hot water and a book (and turning 21 also introduced the concept of cold beer, added to the hot water and paper texts and really, it's hard to beat that combo).

There are things I WANT to watch: The Sarah Connor Chronicles for the most part, but also The Wire, more Arrested Development, Seasons 1 and 2 of The West Wing again, the last two episodes of Dexter, the rest of the TV that

iamsab loaned me, but I'm having trouble... willing myself into it. It's cold in my room, in my bed, and I'm unfocused, drifting and distracted and being cold with the cat and the laptop isn't much fun.

M., in an effort to cheer me out of my funk, tried to sway me with watching "300". (We both wanted to watch Rome, but lack the DVDs, and decided it was too hard to find an ep of Farscape that had great explosions but no heartbreak.) And it just, it's so typical of M. that 300 inspires him, this false dichotomy of what it means to be a man, and I finally went to bed halfway through, tired of all that masculine posturing.

I am excited (sort of in that dread-filled excitement) for the upcoming Presidential race, determined to get involved on a deeper level with whichever candidate leads my party. I used to do these things: rally and campaign, volunteer and engage with my community. I want to get back to that again.

Colorado, apparently, has a caucus now and my step-mother took my dad (both she and my mother are registered as independents, but my dad has also clung to his party as I have). He's committed despite the hassle (he's in a wheelchair most of the time, hates the cold, is a pain in the ass over every ache and inconvenience, but he was determined). Despite the real (if hilarious) joke of gathering all the Democrats in El Paso county into one space (they're an easy target that way), Dad said that it was fun if best described by words that begin with "cluster." He had his talking points already (Dad's 100% pure Obama fan), and enjoyed the process thoroughly:) (My step-mother, also an Obama supporter and again, not registered for a party, almost got counted in the Clinton camp and had to go running after the head counter to prevent it.)

Writing-wise, I'm ready to go back to the short story, finish the edit and decide what I want to do with it. I've given myself distance and space, can now edit more thoroughly and that prospect excites me. Plus, I've got a slew of hats to crochet, so, maybe what I need is that quiet time I've been shunning.