itsallovernow | Super Tuesday

I need more revolutionary icons. I also STILL need a Toby icon, because no one gives me more joy over the political process than a cranky made up character, but honestly, Toby Ziegler is my cranky, liberal hero and always will be.

So, over the past few weeks I've been tearing up over a lot of things - too much work, a little heartbreak, the overwhelming feeling of being stuck in my housing situation, of being stuck in general. I've leaned over the steering wheel in my car and sobbed until the fist in my throat unclenched and let me breathe. I've cried silently along with music, clearing the tears off my face only when I could raise my hands from the wheel. I've cried in bed, angry tears that weren't supposed to show up, causing both of us to look away and pretend it wasn't happening.

But this morning, I went to vote, I made my decision with pen in hand, standing there and letting momentum and instinct sway me, and when I got to work I realized that my primary choices, that the choice between the two people who were going to run for President of the United States, were a young black man and a woman. And yeah, I know so much of the voting right now comes down to race or gender, and I kind of hate that. However, politics aside, we are in a position right now to elect a woman or a black man to the Executive Seat of Power. And god, that's... that's enough to cause the kind of tears that don't hurt. We have fucked up an awful lot of things as a nation lately, but somewhere, maybe we really are on a road to something better.

I have distinct memories of Geraldine Ferraro's bid for the Presidency, and her tears, and the way that she was absolutely torn apart for being weak, for being unsuitable. And I don't know that we've come as far as I'd like as a collective consciousness, but I think we're slowly (if not thoroughly) letting go of some of our presuppositions. And that's breathtaking. That's hope, baby. We've got a long way to go, but we're... working at it, I think.

Also, if you really want to know, I'll tell you who I voted for in the primary and why. Because I feel like I could support either candidate for President, so the primary was an excrutiating, if intriguing exercise in internal debate with a winner that came only at the very end, and of course, the winner swayed me with words.