I think this is exactly what I'm talking about, but you, as always, say it better. Because when you change for yourself, the success or failure only affects you. And that's thrilling and a little disappointing, but it's more about choice, right?
So I think that yes, connections and duties, if you meet them, will force you to change. But I also think change is easier when you only have yourself to risk. And yet sometimes I've held back a little, for plausible deniability, for wanting to be in control of my own failure. But that's not an option for me right now. Odd, isn't it, that a person can routinely deny themselves their best effort and yet open the throttle wide for someone else?
When there are other people, the impetus is just totally different. The whole process of considering the change, or acting on it is different because the ramifications are so different.
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Date: 2007-04-09 09:21 pm (UTC)So I think that yes, connections and duties, if you meet them, will force you to change. But I also think change is easier when you only have yourself to risk. And yet sometimes I've held back a little, for plausible deniability, for wanting to be in control of my own failure. But that's not an option for me right now. Odd, isn't it, that a person can routinely deny themselves their best effort and yet open the throttle wide for someone else?
When there are other people, the impetus is just totally different. The whole process of considering the change, or acting on it is different because the ramifications are so different.