Serial Killer Dreams

[itsallovernow]

Gah, I think it's not the first time I've used that subject line. Two gin martinis and then "Criminal Minds" and "DaVinci's Inquest" will do that.

State of my cranium
Had a sinus headache that turned into a migraine. I don't take anything for headaches anymore - used to take Darvocet which was fantastic, but I stopped once I realized how addicted to painkillers my dad was. I don't even have a perscription anymore. And it's been a long time since I've had anything close to a migraine, so I'm just going to ride this out, try not to blink a lot. It's actually probably just tension/sinus stuff as I don't have the light sensitivity or the constant urge to throw up.

State of my theoretical life's work

Regardless, I've spent a lot of time lately thinking about what I want to be when I grow up. Much like Ralph Wiggam. "I want to be a fireman. Or an ice cream cone." Okay, so Ralph probably never said he wanted to be an ice cream, but it sounds like something he'd say. (Did I mention the sudafed, and the sudafed making me high? Again). Much like with boys, I'm afraid to commit to a career path. If money fell from the sky, what would I do with my life? Would I do good works, would I blow it all on cocaine and hookers (probably not, but you know, it's good to have options). Would I buy a house in the mountains or on the beach and write? Would I go home? Would I go steal my god child who can now say "I love you" on the phone? Of course, she also says, "It's my birthday, I want cake."

I get so stuck thinking about what I want to do that I don't do anything. I hate that. My client is doing a post-doc in Refugee Trauma and Global Mental Health which I will be helping her with, and it makes me want to do good things. Get an MSW or a Clinical Psych degree. Maybe go back and get an MA in Forensic Anthropology (which really was a plan once upon the time. Stupid U. of Montana with the not getting back to me until I'd already accepted U. of Buffalo's offer).

CalState LA has a forensic anthro program. And you know the fabulous thing about forensic anthro? The bones lack skin. Bones I can deal with. It's the skin that makes me yak.

Or should I follow through, apply for my MFA? Take writing seriously.

I talk and talk and plan and plan and don't do much. And I have to do something. I'm so very stuck, full of big dreams and no follow through.

State of the Fake TiVo, of Writing, and of Me As Lazy Ass

And also, why oh why, fake TiVo of mine, is "DaVinci's Inquest" sometimes actually "DaVinci's Inquest" and sometimes "CSI"? Are the TV gods lying to you? And then you pass that lying on to me?

I am full of questions. I am also full of the desire to write phone sex via com for "Farscape" and dude, I've got no idea where that came from, but it's sparking a scene where a glass wall comes down and the walls start screaming "contaminate, contaminate" and Crichton thinks of the Daleks, hopes to god his microbes are translating right, hopes they're really not.

I STILL have not corrected "Blue Eyes" and sent it back to Leviathan. It's just... logistically that fic is a pain in the ass. kernezelda and searose will remember the "double mm" disaster - when I decided that I wanted to spell 'com' differently and managed to change every instance of those three letters in the gigantic fic. So, when I formated it, I used a lot of ellipses. It's my stylistic fault zone. Some people love commas, I love the ellipses and overuse it desperately to signify pauses in speech. But the interface doesn't recognize it and the words run together and I'd really like to fix that before I post. But it's a daunting task. Daunting I say.

State of the Sudafed
I mentioned the pseudoephedrine high, right?

Comments

[raithen.livejournal.com]

wow! I refreshed and there were subheads and everything!!

{{anti-head-ouchy feel better ASAP vibes}}

and I am SOOOO with you on the lifes ambitions/inertia thing.... Viz my post (well, one of 'em) from yesterday. Substitute horses for writing, and you have a big chunk of my angst nicely summed up in what you are doing. And I just learned that there are sociology grad programs where you can study horses and society (well, animals and society, but some people do horses!). And then there is the practical side- do a diploma in PR or something and get into a field that will make you happier. n stuff.

but then, the inertia.

*sigH* At least we are doing the big project!

[danceswithwords.livejournal.com]

Somewhat tangentially, the reason ellipses in Word cause problems is that Word makes them into a special character. You can turn off the feature that does that, and when you type the ellipses, they will remain three period characters that non-Word programs will recognize. If you go to Tools>Autocorrect and click the Autocorrect Options, you'll see the ellipses in the list of things Word's autocorrect replaces with a special character. I think that once you turn it off, you can do a find and replace using "..." and replace all of the special characters with three periods, but it's been a while since I've had to do that. (Can you tell I have dealt with a lot of funky Word formatting issues over the course of my work?)

I hope your head feels better soon.

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Thank you dear!!

And that's a fantastic suggestion!!

[raithen.livejournal.com]

turn off the auto em and en dashes, too. and the smart quotes. most html text editors (I assume a variation of this is what leviathan uses) also frell those up dramatically.

and thanks, danceswithwords, I know the problem well (deal with it daily at work) and I know about turing those autocorrect options off, but for some stupid reason, I'd never connected the two concepts. *eyeroll*

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

The other formatting I know to do, but hadn't thought about the ellipses.

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

i hope you're already feeling better.

as for growing up i've decided it's an optical illusion. seriously, the statistics show that adults change careers about 7 times which is a big change from 50 years ago.

and the idea of john crichton thinking of the daleks is perfect.

[searose.livejournal.com]

I feel for you on 'Blue Eyes'. (I also remember the double-m disaster....)