Broadening My Horizons

[itsallovernow]

Yesterday, I posted both Jool fic and X-Files fic. What is this world coming to?

But fbf has stolen California's weather, leaving us chilled and grey and so very confused. rubberneck has been waylaid by chicken and muppets, and really, why did Gonzo feel such affinity for chickens? Is that cross-species porn?

I saw a t-shirt yesterday, on a girl working at Border's, that said, "Because he was stapled to it." I burst out laughing, couldn't fumble through my purse to find my credit card having lost all control of myself. The girl just grinned and rang up the slew o' books I'd purchased for the under three set in my life.

Hee - and if you don't know the joke that sets up that punchline, well, I'd be happy to recount it. It's one of the few jokes I can remember, much like "How do you get a nun pregnant?"

Giddy, much? Seemingly, yes. And I've no idea why. This week stretches out, endless and too full. I'm going home for two weeks at Xmas, and three of those days won't be paid. Sigh. Wish I'd known that. They're mandatory vacation days. Our office has always closed for the two weeks, but this year can't afford to pay us for the whole time off. I adore my employers, and this has always been a perk to match the meager salary, but it's a tough year for it. Still, I'm only mildly disgruntled. I understand the economics far too well and am grateful to have a job.

Venture Bros. last night was hysterical. The weirdest Easy Rider riff I've ever seen and I went to bed just sort of dazed and chortling.

Reading The Hero and The Crown, thanks to both suelac and raithen. Cofax was recently re-reading this, and Raithen was appalled that I'd never read it. I am enjoying it. Aerin's a strong heroine, interesting and smart, loving books and horses and ready to be someone, but the name thing is killing me. Aerin is too close to Aeryn, and I can't picture the red hair:)

My cold is finally ebbing, leaving me sort of deaf in one ear. This is fun for all, oh yes it is.

I like so much of the sex gone wrong that I've written so far, but I'm wondering if I should start it all over, make it lighter, edgier. Hmm. Off to ponder.

Comments

[lizlet.livejournal.com]

oooh, joke! yes!

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

You're going to be so sorry you asked.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Why did the man cross the road?

'Cause his dick was stapled to the chicken. (Or, I suppose for more public consumption, becuase he was stapled to the chicken).

Hee. Told ya:)

[lizlet.livejournal.com]

Heee. That's excellent. Thanks.

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

The nun joke is even more tasteless.

How do you get a nun pregnant?

You fuck her.

(There are much more clever punchlines, but for some reason that one just sort of sticks. It's such a non-joke, blasphemous and weirdly funny at the same time. Or, perhaps not:)

[life-on-queen.livejournal.com]

Ditto. I am much confused.

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Anything I can clarify for you, sweetie? Feeling better?

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Oh, and see my comment to Liz, re: the joke:)

[reginaspina.livejournal.com]

Heh! I just picture Aerin AS Aeryn – sod the description. Also, I absolutely adore your icon … I LOVE that movie. Mmmm, Devlin!

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Hee - pretty much, yeah:) That's what's been happening and everytime I read the red hair I just put my fingers in my ears. (Which is funny, I'm usually fond of red-haired heroines:)

And dude, doesn't that icon rock? Feldman made it for me:) I adore the movie shamelessly, and it was a line from her latest opus:) Two good things that go good together;)

And yeah for your D'Argo icon!

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

I like so much of the sex gone wrong that I've written so far, but I'm wondering if I should start it all over, make it lighter, edgier. Hmm. Off to ponder.

Crackpot suggestion--he starts laughing. Can't help it, can't stop it. Visceral reaction, like crying when you're angry but helpless. Tension just pours out in laughter. I gotta think this would be a last straw of inappropriate behaviour on his part and would ratchet her higher in the more aggressive aspects of what she was already feeling...

I should have friends locked this post. My expletives are running away with me:)

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Oooh, I like that very much, because the starting over had started like this:

It was hard to compare the sensation of a hot mouth on a hard dick to anything else. His fingers curled into her hair and she hit him with her elbow, the bone whacking sharply against his knee.

But I like the idea of laughter, of dialing back the fact that she's basically standing there with him in her hand and he starts to laugh because he's just so very fucked.

Re: I should have friends locked this post. My expletives are running away with me:)

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

Considering her train of thought, I don't think she'd, well, *service* him, you know? What with his newbie pulse weapon skills at this point (misfires and overloads)--she'd recon and assess, but not discharge the chamber...

Re: I should have friends locked this post. My expletives are running away with me:)

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Exactly. I think the laughter is a better track to take.

I mean, if he can't fire a gun, there's just no guaruntee that he won't misfire other things. And no one wants that. Besides, its a little too, um, nice. At this stage. But ooh, I could work that a little. "You might overloaded the pulse chamber..." "What you're afraid of a misfire?" "More of a premature... discharge." "Nice, well, I'm a damn sight handier with this gun than that rifle."

But really, all that time in the self-service lane, I'm guessing that the two to tango might cause a little overstimulation. Hmmm.

Re: I should have friends locked this post. My expletives are running away with me:)

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

Besides, its a little too, um, nice. At this stage.

My thoughts exactly--she's in it for herself at this point, and while a good comrade scratches her partner's back in turn, her own itchy back is The Motivator here (or, you know, the only one she's acknowledging at this juncture).

"Nice, well, I'm a damn sight handier with this gun than that rifle."

I'm torn between "Prove it." and "A Peacekeeper is proficient with all of the weapons in his arsenal..."

But really, all that time in the self-service lane, I'm guessing that the two to tango might cause a little overstimulation. Hmmm.

For *both* of them, I think, and maybe her more than him at first, while he catches up.

Re: I should have friends locked this post. My expletives are running away with me:)

[life-on-queen.livejournal.com]

Jeebus. I'm never gonna be able to look at a, *a-chem* gun in quite the same way ever again.

Re: I should have friends locked this post. My expletives are running away with me:)

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

You have seen Feldman's "This is my pistola" icon, yes?

Re: I should have friends locked this post. My expletives are running away with me:)

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

I should do Old Home Week with the icons, you know? Trot out the favs and the newbie mistakes alike ; )

(note to self: turn extra userpics back on).

Re: I should have friends locked this post. My expletives are running away with me:)

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

You should, you should!!

And how's this.

His Ph.D had hung in the wall of his office, the shiny seal and calligraphied letters giving him a false sense of being the smartest guy in the room. Well, okay, so it was easy to think that in a room full of astronaunts, government types. Most rocket jockeys didn't care about the theoretical applications of space time, they wanted the rush, the sense of the new.

But the PhD musta lied because he hadn't been smart enough to see the glint in her eyes when she stalked towards him. She'd just finished kicking his ass from here 'til next Tuesday, berating his thrusts and parrays with a sharp gaze and a sharper tongue - sharpest frelling elbows in the UT's as well - and when he'd called Time Out, thunked his head back against the wall, and watched her stalk towards him, hips rolling with something he could only call a swagger, he thought the worst thing he'd have to weather was another insult.

So when she put her hand on his dick, squeezing with a truly fantastic balance of pressure and skill, he started to laugh, guffawing like a 13 year old with a stack of Stooges to watch. The laughter poured out of his throat like rain and thunder, and her expression grew storm cloud gray and gloomy but her grip was steady and suddenly the laughter hitched up on the rush of holy fuck that's good that his brain finally intercepted.

Re: I should have friends locked this post. My expletives are running away with me:)

[kernezelda]

You have my attention now.

Re: I should have friends locked this post. My expletives are running away with me:)

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Hee - I'm trying to set the tone and it's like trying on dresses for a special occasion. They just keep being not quite right.

Re: I should have friends locked this post. My expletives are running away with me:)

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Yup - she wants her own itches addressed.

I'm torn between "Prove it." and "A Peacekeeper is proficient with all of the weapons in his arsenal..."

Oh, dude. That's a tough call.

Definitely, overstimulation for both of them, other hands on bodies, and surprise, embarrasment, all of those messy things that come along with awkward sex. For her, getting off more than once is a good thing, for him, well, he ain't a kid, and he's really and truly in an alien situation. One firing may be all he gets. Key is to keep her attention, I think, and that's where the annoyance comes in. He wants to be more than a blow- up doll, a dildo with hands and a mouth, but, well... He's also awfully pissy about everything at this stage. Might get himself kicked out.

[elishavah.livejournal.com]

The best part of the appallingly awful movie adaptation of "Lost in Space" was the robot's version of that joke:

"Why did the robot cross the road?"
"Because he was carbon bonded to the chicken."

And that's my random contribution to the world today.

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Hee hee - oh god, I was in such a state of shocked wincing during that movie that I missed that! So yeah. Thank you!

me=confuzzled

[raithen.livejournal.com]

I'm confused, because apparently we had a conversation I don't remember. The Hero and The Crown is, I must confess, not a novel I remember reading, let alone recommending. It does sound like one I would enjoy, however, and I will watch for it.

A Wind in Cairo by Judith Tarr. THAT I recommend highly. I also recommend Judith Tarr's lj, dancinghorse, which is blissfully horsey and well written (Tarr raises Lippizans). And I am lusting after her new novel, under the pseudonym Caitlin Brennan, which is about Lippizans. It was in my hands at Chapters on Sunday, but I was very restrained and bought only gifts....

And you can help me with the gift shopping: I have a red-headed friend, and I need advice: I am getting her a christmas pressie that is clothes, and I haven't seen her in a while. What colors do red heads wear (or not wear....)?

Re: me=confuzzled

[brynnmck.livejournal.com]

Just to hijack... I have medium-ish red hair (strawberry blonde would probably be different), and I usually consider the following to be safe: browns, greens, creams, and most blues (but try to stay away from the purply-blues). Purples, reds, yellows, and pinks are ones you should probably avoid.

At least that's my 2 cents. :)

Re: me=confuzzled

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Sigh, must be losing my mind. Maybe it was Theresa Edgerton we were talking about? Is that possible? And yes, I think you'd very much like this book. Horses and heroines:) Just enough fantasy, but it's organic, very much a part of the narrative, not overdone. The book is... gritty, round.

And hee. Red-heads. Well, since I'm currently on a color extravaganza, I'll wear anything but yellow and cream. Most redheads are pale, so think rich and fallish, or stark. Pastels tend to be wishy wasy, but I've got a current love on for palest pink and blue. And greens!! Redheads look good in green and there are some fantabulous apple greens out right now, however, not everyone has the same giggling adoration of green that I seem to:)

[kernezelda]

I love the image of you losing it in line. Such a cheery sight, and if I were there you'd probably set me off, and that'd be too ridiculous, two giggling loons at once.

Read Hero and Crown years ago, but the best McKinley I've read, the only one that's really stuck with me is Deerskin.
Patricia McKillip's who'd I'd pick if I could only pick one.
Have you read Nancy Springer? Some of her earlier works are heavy on the horse-love, cool mythic heroes and UST.

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

It was pretty funny. My arms were full of these CD's and board books for the itty bitties and I was just guffawing at the punchline to this dirty joke:)

McKillip is good, yes, but I do feal like I've missed out somewhat by not reading her as a kid, like there's something I'm not quite getting.

I haven't read Nancy Springer, but now I'm equally intrigued.

[raithen.livejournal.com]

woo! all these books to read now. Springer, huh? Any one in particular to start with?

[brynnmck.livejournal.com]

Hee hee. Fortunately I read The Hero and the Crown before Farscape was even a glint in anyone's eye, so my mental images of Aerin and Aeryn remain different. Still, it looked incredibly odd to see "Aerin" spelled out in your journal--it's been awhile. :) After you finish that, check out The Blue Sword, too--THatC was actually a prequel to that, I believe, and it's quite good, too. Actually, now that I think of it, McKinley's writing reminds me a bit of yours in places... something about the rhythm of it, I think. I do love her work, all of it that I've ever found.

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

It's interesting. Somewhere, I have The Blue Sword, but don't remember reading it (and there must have been a reason that I didn't). Now, I very much want to. I read Beauty ages ago, and thought, hmm. Nice. But it was after I'd read this fabulous collection of fairy tales by Jack Zipes called Don't Bet on the Prince and the retelling just didn't strike as much of a chord with me as those stories did.

Now, of course, I feel like I want to re-read it:)

And thank you! I'm very much liking her writing style, so that's a lovely compliment.

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

er, loving the 'stapled to it' joke. and loving the rest of the posts and snippets...well, this is a very rich and luxurious thread. you are very very good. (just reminding you)

i still love the hero and the crown, and the blue sword. as for mckillip; i think 'the riddle master of hed' series is her best. is now a good time to recommend john crowley's 'engine summer' and 'little big'? ;)

ps. got my attention now too. *veg*

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Hee - it was you I had that conversation with, wasn't it?

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

oh dren, i think it might have been. argh! it's all rolling into one. because seriously...i think there have been several people reading that book lately. so, i'm confused and absent minded.

*blushes*

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Hee - no, I just confused you with raithen, not confused as in didn't know who you were, but as in horse lovers, and literature reccers:)

[jenlev.livejournal.com]

*is complemented*

a while back i posted a comment to a thread...only to discover from their response that i'd meant to post it on an entirely different journal? after i got over cringing i laughed myself silly. *g*

[scorpy808.livejournal.com]

Venture Bros ROCKS! Last night was insane. I was wondering if anyone else caught that ;)

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

I loved the Easy Rider riffs, and that episode was just so deeply fucked up:)