I send lots of supportive thoughts. I agree that it would be good to at least say the words to M that he has a problem. & you know, once you've said what you've got to say, it's up to him to actually do something about it. You can support him as much or as little as you like, but he's got to be ready to change before it's going to happen. If you have a big convo & nothing changes for him, that's not your fault. Look, I'm preemptively addressing future neuroses. It's really fucking hard to watch someone self-destruct, and yet there is only so much we can do (not enabling & naming the behavior are important though, even if he takes another large chunk of time to actually believe you). & I agree with other commenters in strongly encouraging you to move out.
This is an awesome meme! It's so hard to pick, but I'll go with Three things Geoffrey Tennant did after the world ended by Shakespeare.
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Date: 2008-03-18 08:12 am (UTC)I send lots of supportive thoughts. I agree that it would be good to at least say the words to M that he has a problem. & you know, once you've said what you've got to say, it's up to him to actually do something about it. You can support him as much or as little as you like, but he's got to be ready to change before it's going to happen. If you have a big convo & nothing changes for him, that's not your fault. Look, I'm preemptively addressing future neuroses. It's really fucking hard to watch someone self-destruct, and yet there is only so much we can do (not enabling & naming the behavior are important though, even if he takes another large chunk of time to actually believe you). & I agree with other commenters in strongly encouraging you to move out.
This is an awesome meme! It's so hard to pick, but I'll go with Three things Geoffrey Tennant did after the world ended by Shakespeare.