Oh, and I feel like a schmuck because I didn't read the rest of your post, particularly about M.

I... god. Has he no support network? I mean, wow. Alcohol fucks you up if he can sleep in the yard and not see that as a symptom of something massively wrong.

I still think you need to move out.

I know you feel some responsibility for M, but do you have the emotional energy to call together any of his friends and say, "Dude. You're fucked up. Get help, because we're not going to help you anymore."? Because that's what it's going to take. (And yeah, I'm speaking from experience.)

Does he want to end up on the street? Is he alienating his other friends? I never thought this kind of behavior was attractive, but it's less attractive in anyone over thirty, and he's hitting the point where the body just doesn't recover from that kind of abuse. But you know this. Does he?

{{many hugs}}