Not feeling clever anymore

[itsallovernow]

I'd like the 76 Trombones in my head to stop marching and for my vision to unblur.

I'd like the part of my brain that vacated when I decided to buy self-tanning cream for my back to return.

I'd like part 9B of Blue Eyes to be written already.

I'd like to lay on my couch and follow through with my prescribed plan to watch Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose, Young Frankenstien and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

I'd like to bail on dancing tomorrow night. My only consolation is that despite it being ridiculously cheesy, I am going to dance to the theme from Lawerence of Arabia.

I'd like to have the house to myself tonight. Ain't gonna happen.

I'd like M. to actually record a message on our new phone since he bitched about us having a boring, "this is so and so please leave a message" message. The options he and G. came up with include the following:

a) Welcome to M. and Thea's. And yes, we're still pissed at SciFi for cancelling Farscape. You may now leave a message. (They're sucking up, but I love them anyway. They have no intention of using this one).

b) Welcome to Tyrell Corporation. Replicants please press 1, all others press 2. (The phone doesn't have two lines - this doesn't seem to have stalled their efforts any).

c) Hello and welcome to M. and Thea's (this said in the moviefone voice). For a sensitive, sophisticated comedy about life in L.A., press one, etc.

Why can't they just say, hey, we're not here, leave a message? It's actually infringing on M.'s manhood that I want us to sound like adults when people call us. His friends all have obnoxious messages, so he feels left out. Boys are just so weird. They have now started to call and make fun of the electronic voice that plays in lieu of a greeting.

ETA: Bender meets Tyrell Corp.. This almost made my head stop hurting.

Comments

[haphazardmethod.livejournal.com]

My favorite was always: "We're all in the shower right now. Please leave a message."

{{hugs}}

[raithen.livejournal.com]

Hope your head feels better. And that the great message detente ends.

[kernezelda]

My mother is still using the message I recorded for her over ten years ago - if she has to get a new machine, she just calls me to come over and re-record the message.

Mine is the electronic default. The cats unplug the cord so often I've stopped bothering trying to personalize it.

[veritykindle.livejournal.com]

Hee! This reminds me of that radio program, "Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me", where the main prize is Carl Castle's voice on the winning person's answering machine. (I have no idea who Carl Castle is supposed to be, but he does have a very distinctive voice. :) )

They had a question once where they described some potential answering machine messages, and asked the caller to pick the one that was a real message that Carl Castle recorded. It turned out to be the one where the family from that house claimed that they had Carl Castle tied up in the basement, and then you could hear Carl's voice saying "Help, help, they are all crazy!", or something like that. *giggle* I loved that one!

I've always wanted to win something like that, because I am absolutely terrible with answering machine messages. :)

I hope your head feels better soon!

[barkley.livejournal.com]

Tell M to come live with me! My current message says, "I'm not here and neither are you." My mother hates it when she calls me, but at least it's better than my old message where I held the pc speakers up to the recorder and played random XF clips. My personal favorite was "What ever happened to trust no one? I changed that, didn't I tell you?"

[cretkid.livejournal.com]

going with the infantile phone messages, I had a great Q line from (I think it was) Deep Space Nine :

(first me, saying): R. and E. aren't here.
(then Q): "That's right, blame me. It is my lot in life to the galaxy's whipping boy. Heavy is the burden of being me."

and then there was the time i had Riker saying:
"Could somebody get that? Can someone answer that damn ringing!?" (I don't remember the episode, but Troi was made into a cake)

Then, of course, my favorite, the Red Dwarf theme song playing in the background and me saying we weren't there.

These stupid ass messages prompted my mother to elave equally obnoxious messgages... "Rory, it's your MOTHER, the Terminator."

[raithen.livejournal.com]

And it took me until THIS MORNING to get the "76 [bloody] trombones" reference. When I was listening to OMWF. And I call myself a BtVS fangurl. . .

*shameicon*

*hee*