Porn Nominations for The Sparkys

To vote on the fics that will get sent on to The Sparkys, go here: Sparky's Porn Poll. Please vote, or suggest a story (because I can't find the bloody nominations that other people have submitted. After you've voted, I'll send the noms on to Jeff. If you want to discuss any of the fics, or their relative merits, drop me an e-mail!! Or post to the_sporkys.

Friday, finally

I like this meme:

10 Signs You're Reading a Thea!Fic!:

10. No matter how well beta'd, there's at least one instance of a misused "it's".

9. Pronouns have gone missing, as have many of the articles. You suspect they're in a cave somewhere, battling their way free, encouraged by a rallying crankygrrl.

8. The verbs slipped, slid, sighed, breathed, murmured, muttered, thrust, bit, fucked, frelled, moaned, groaned, barked, and threaded and any variety of says/said appear. The bulk of the dialogue is framed around, "He said, she said." If the fic was written in the last year and a half, odds are that "parsed" is in there somewher. Shrug. Blame Feldman, I know I do.

7. Sex is had. Vigorously and enthusiastically. If the characters aren't having sex, they're thinking about sex. Also vigorously and enthusiastically. Sex stands in for long discussions the characters should be having.

6. Plot is whisper thin. Characters are straight backed, lip biting, eye rolling, mouth pursing, neck scrubbing, waist touching and sighing. The sigh frequently. They also make concerted efforts to control their tempers. They don't always succeed.

5. You find yourself in a Season 2 of Farscape that seems to contain far, far more sex having then you remember. It's okay, give yourself over to the porn. You'll thank me for it.

4. Aeryn is perhaps a tad idealized. Commas and their ilk are not.

3. Sentences go on, and on, and on. And on. (There are, perhaps, a few too many uses of the word "and"). Sentence structure is not exactly...varied. Sometimes you suspect the author liked how the words sounded more than she cared about the meaning. You'd be wrong. Mostly.

2. The word dude comes out of someone's mouth. Perhaps more than once. And booty never, ever refers to pirate treasure.

1. I mentioned the sex, right?

Sparky's Porn Poll, Redux

Sigh. I don't know what I did to the poll, but somehow I broke it. We'll try this again! Go HERE to vote. Now with real links as well!

Argh. Fucking technology!