Hmmm, thoughtful pause

I'm trying to take things in stride. For instance, my car is leaking vast quantities of coolant, which means I have to take it to frelling Reseda to have it looked at, and will have to rent a car. And when they morons at the service center transferred me three times to the wrong people, I didn't even yell, just held my head in my hands.

I've also finally accepted a long term situation between myself and G. And discovered sadly that I was right a year ago when I told him to find a nice girl who would appreciate him. That I've been more upset about losing the adoration than losing him. I'm not proud of myself, but I feel clear now, and honest.

I was partnered with a very short, very aggressive girl at Krav Maga yesterday. And my neck hurts like a sonofabitch from doing knees. She held my neck down - as instructed, but she was almost a foot shorter than me and it was painful. Should you ever feel the need to attack me, I can honestly say that I'm unlikely to knee you. But I will kick you. I promise.

I didn't write, although I'm going back and forth with my plot points, disgusted by the clumsiness of my last section. However, I still believe there will be surprises forthcoming. I may need a sounding board later in the week, if anyone is willing to help.

I get absurdly excited every time rubberneck posts a new section. It makes me not want to read anything else if it won't measure up to her scenettes. I get stubborn about fic - wanting it all to be good, not just readable. And so far, I've been cruising on the WIPs lately. Even uncompleted, most of them answer what I want from fic far better than a lot of what's been on Kansas lately.

And I did remember to tape and watch Alias last night. ( Totally content free ramblings )

Oh, and I'm not going to vote for Arnold. That should be abundantly clear, but I like saying it outloud, and am amused that Bustamonte's ads, which are total campaign ads, have tiny "Vote No on the Recall" things in the upper right hand corner.

Random Excitement

I've been meaning to say this for weeks, because I'm just no less excited than I was when it came up on the movie previews.

The are releasing the director's cut of Alien in the theaters in October. And there should be dancing on the desktops as I write this ( except of course most everyone probably already knew this). I love this movie.

It absolutely scared the life out of me the first time I saw it as a kid in a crappy motel room in New Mexico in the middle of a snowstorm. My parent's were fighting- cause that's what you do on vacation, fight with family members) and weren't paying attention to what I was watching, and I was always careful and clever as a child to manage to always do what I wanted to do without getting caught and I didn't sleep for most of that vacation, even though they eventually figured out what I was watching. They never censored my reading or viewing material (we only had cable sporadically so it wasn't like I could have gotten in too much trouble). So we watched the rest together. I can still hear that hiss stretch of sound when it opens it's mouth and the tinny clink of teeth. And it still scares me, and I still love it and have never seen it in the theater.

Seeking a challenge

I went back and looked at all of my posted fic on Kansas (because I'm insatiably curious:) And confirmed, as if it were necessary - witness the use of the subjunctive, so much easier to explain in English because there's really only one worthwhile example, and why yes I am teach both French and Latin tonight - that sex sells. Porn is definitely the feel good hit of the summer. Which is ok. I'm very fond of porn myself. And I'm proud of Undertones, even if I hope to god my father never finds out that I wrote something like that. And it definitely adds to my sort of puzzled uncertainty about going to a con. I don't think I could look an actor in the face who has portrayed someone that I've written as having sex in an alley. I know the difference between what I've written, and what the actual actors, writers and directors have done, the actor vs. character thing. It's still vaguely unsettling.

And I've no desire to get into the debate of why certain things get more recognition than others. To each his own. The real point of this post is to shamelessly beg for inspiration. Not bunnies, or weasels, just a challenge of some sort. I want to try and write in a different style, and I've found that responding to my own ideas isn't really helping my cause. I'm plot wrassling with Blue Eyes, and that has its own style, even if I want to do the dance of the red pen over much of the prose, and I need a distraction to keep me going.

So, here's my offer and request- either point me to a challenge, or issue me one. Challenges, requests, whatever. I'd prefer it to be in FS, because I've never really written in other fandoms, and except for XF, don't think I could nail the characterizations. Well, that's not true, I think I could take a passable shot at characterization in Buffy or WW, although the first would be a stretch, and I don't think I could get the pacing right on the second.