When dating, I never felt less than in control of my own space. In fact, I was the aggressor in most relationships, and had our sexes been reversed, it would have been I who was the stalkery, grabby-hands, "let's have sex now - damn it, why not?" party (early twenties, hotbed of raging hormones).

That's part of the difference, or the issue, I think. A negotiation between two people who are in a relationship - dating, fucking, friends, whatever, is one thing. It's openly sexual, or slyly sexual, but it's a personal negotiation.

Most sexual advances? Most of what's put out there outside of one on one chosen situations? Is not personal, it's aggressively not-personal, and even if there's not a sense of fear created by it, it's still a violation of personal space and comfort that was UNASKED for.