So eloquently put, you just summed up what it's taken me more than forty years -- more than ten of which were married -- to figure out. The whining, the coercion, the grabbing... Just because I am your wife does not mean you own this, asshole. I wish I had said it just that bluntly although I doubt he would have heard the words even then. Certainly no discussion of 'feelings' ever got through. I've been abstinent for years now and, while that choice doesn't make me happy, the thought of returning to the days of coercion with me crying during sex absolutely horrifies me. So... No sex? I'm good with that. Because it takes me out of the cycle.

As for men in general, they can look but if they value their hands, they do not touch. And it is a sad world where strippers are paid more than teachers.